Sunday, 5 October 2008
Gambians In Coventry City Celebrate Koriteh
Gambians in Coventry City U.K celebrate Koriteh On a family and friends get-together
The event was organised by the Gambian Association in Coventry under the leadership of Abdoulie Kamara and his executive team.
The purpose of the family event was to bring the spirit of Koriteh to the many young Gambian U.K born children. Our cultures and traditions is everything to us. The identity of Gambian children born abroad depends on the parents teaching them what is a unique Gambian traditions. We all know life in the west for children is more like, school and home two way traffic.
Whilst these children are getting more and more frustrated of being indoors for most of the day, children in the Gambia enjoy the company of their fellows and play in the open. On this rear occasion of Koriteh, we were able bring together many children with their Mothers to enjoy the Unique Gambian style food and drinks. An area was allocated for children to play, suckling mothers with babies were also catered for.
The aim of the Gambian Association in Coventry is to do more of this events. Tobaski will also be celebrated in a bigger place and other family day outs are also in the pipe-line.
The Gambian Association Coventry is here for all Gambians living in the city and surrounding. The Association caters for emergency matters of members, in cases of death, accident and other urgent incidences. A united and well organise organisation always achieves its goal; we therefore call on all Gambians living in the city to join us and make our small Gambian community noticeable in the city of Coventry. To join us, email the secretary directly for details.
Secretary General
Suntou Touray
The event was organised by the Gambian Association in Coventry under the leadership of Abdoulie Kamara and his executive team.
The purpose of the family event was to bring the spirit of Koriteh to the many young Gambian U.K born children. Our cultures and traditions is everything to us. The identity of Gambian children born abroad depends on the parents teaching them what is a unique Gambian traditions. We all know life in the west for children is more like, school and home two way traffic.
Whilst these children are getting more and more frustrated of being indoors for most of the day, children in the Gambia enjoy the company of their fellows and play in the open. On this rear occasion of Koriteh, we were able bring together many children with their Mothers to enjoy the Unique Gambian style food and drinks. An area was allocated for children to play, suckling mothers with babies were also catered for.
The aim of the Gambian Association in Coventry is to do more of this events. Tobaski will also be celebrated in a bigger place and other family day outs are also in the pipe-line.
The Gambian Association Coventry is here for all Gambians living in the city and surrounding. The Association caters for emergency matters of members, in cases of death, accident and other urgent incidences. A united and well organise organisation always achieves its goal; we therefore call on all Gambians living in the city to join us and make our small Gambian community noticeable in the city of Coventry. To join us, email the secretary directly for details.
Secretary General
Suntou Touray
Friday, 3 October 2008
Voting patterns in the Gambia 2
The voting pattern in Gambian politics is not predictable or straight forward.
Looking at the vote result of pdois candidates for the 1992 elections shows that the candidates family background counts a little in determining election outcomes.
The 1992 votes result for PDOIS MP’S:
CONSTITUENCY PARTY NUMBER VOTE
Amie Sillah BJL SOUTH PDOIS 236
Momodou Taal BJL SOUTH PPP 1,535
Babou Njie BJL SOUTH NCP 952
Papa N’Diaye BJL SOUTH INDEPENDENT 171
Amie sillah came second to last, she gain higher votes than only an independent candidate.
ANOTHER RESULT
HALIFA SALLAH SERREKUNDA EAST PDOIS 833
OMAR JALLOW SERREKUNDA EAST PPP 4,443
O. JAITEH SERREKUNDA EAST NCP 2,236
Serrekunda a wolof dominated region should be an easy picking for Halifa if tribal politics was the main reason of pdois’s message falling on deaf ears. But he like other pdois candidates scores lowest in the 1992 elections. What has change for halifa to win the last two previous elections? What was it that the pdois has done to make voters listen and accept them? OJ a PPP heavy weight who dominated the serrekunda for years couldn't be shaken by Halifa.
ANOTHER AREA RESULT:
SEDIA JATTA WULLI EAST PDOIS 535
SENI SINGHATEH WULLI EAST PPP 1,527
SALIFU DARBOE WULLI EAST PDP 804
M.S DARBOE WULLI EAST NCP 584
Sedia was well beaten by all the candidates in wulli east. This was the time before he embarks on engaging the people. Staying among them for long periods of time and travelling from village to village selling his party’s message. He indoctrinated youths to sell his party’s message. For Sedia, one cannot discuss his rise to dominance in wulli without commenting about the efforts of Surahata Jawneh. Surahatah assisted sedia in distributing PDOIS tapes, pamphlets, and other medium in spreading the message.
ANOTHER AREA RESULT:
SUWAIBOU TOURAY WULLI WEST PDOIS 154
MALANG SAWO WULLI WEST PPP 1,540
KARAMANG JAWUNEH NCP 1,222
FODAY KEBBEH PDP 1,118
Suwaibou a PDOIS through and through gain a meagre vote margin from the wulli west folks. Even though the likes of foday kebbeh were new comers, Suwaibou scored the lowest votes. This pattern is not unique to suwaibou alone. One cannot argue tribal reasons here. All the candidates for wulli are mandinkas.
ANOTHER AREA RESULT
LAMIN W JUWARA NIAMINA INDEPENDENT 3,585
MALANDING CEESAY PPP 3,163
SANA JALLOW GPP 493
Mbarodi or waa won with a slight margin as an independent in Niamina. This indicates that personality counts in politics. Waa for whatever reason did not contest for the PPP, a party he serve as commissioner in several divisions. His too was famous in Niamina once.
NOW THE INTERESTING POPULARITY CONTEST
MY FAVOURITE POLITICAL MAVERICK BUBA BALDEH .NKO NKONTANITA BAAKE (I SAID, I AM EXPTREMELY HAPPY) this is one of buba’s one line speech.
BUBA BALDEH JIMARA PPP 6,028
BAKARY SONKO NCP 355
This is the biggest margin i have come across so far. The fame of Buba was unbelievable. Jimara is predominantly Fula, but that was not the reason Buba beat his rival that much. Buba understood the language of politics. He knew how to use emotion and entertainment in winning votes. During those days Buba is always surrounded by the fula musicians who whip up the crowd to join buba’s campaign team. Buba is from Mansajang which is far from jimara. His Dad was a famous figure in basse’s elite group but buba choose to contest in jimara.
Can our current political players learn anything from Buba? Yes, in term of reaching out and connecting with the people.
My assumption is that the PDOIS leaders would would be glad to engage all the other oppositions in the country in a debate over ideas and philosophy. from the several speeches of and interviews of Halifa, it is apparent that he is rearing to take on udp and aprc especially on policy issues. the lack of opportunity to get that engagement creates the frustration in halifa's interviews. he knew his party got the better ideas and the foundation to withstand criticism. he also knew, he is naturaly gifted to unleash his oratory ability on any of the contending rival parties. halifa would love to have an American style leadership debate. this unfulfil desire may be killing halifa's political ambition. I would love to withness a debate between halifa and ousainou or Yahya. that will be a day to remember for generations in the history of Gambian politics.
Looking at the vote result of pdois candidates for the 1992 elections shows that the candidates family background counts a little in determining election outcomes.
The 1992 votes result for PDOIS MP’S:
CONSTITUENCY PARTY NUMBER VOTE
Amie Sillah BJL SOUTH PDOIS 236
Momodou Taal BJL SOUTH PPP 1,535
Babou Njie BJL SOUTH NCP 952
Papa N’Diaye BJL SOUTH INDEPENDENT 171
Amie sillah came second to last, she gain higher votes than only an independent candidate.
ANOTHER RESULT
HALIFA SALLAH SERREKUNDA EAST PDOIS 833
OMAR JALLOW SERREKUNDA EAST PPP 4,443
O. JAITEH SERREKUNDA EAST NCP 2,236
Serrekunda a wolof dominated region should be an easy picking for Halifa if tribal politics was the main reason of pdois’s message falling on deaf ears. But he like other pdois candidates scores lowest in the 1992 elections. What has change for halifa to win the last two previous elections? What was it that the pdois has done to make voters listen and accept them? OJ a PPP heavy weight who dominated the serrekunda for years couldn't be shaken by Halifa.
ANOTHER AREA RESULT:
SEDIA JATTA WULLI EAST PDOIS 535
SENI SINGHATEH WULLI EAST PPP 1,527
SALIFU DARBOE WULLI EAST PDP 804
M.S DARBOE WULLI EAST NCP 584
Sedia was well beaten by all the candidates in wulli east. This was the time before he embarks on engaging the people. Staying among them for long periods of time and travelling from village to village selling his party’s message. He indoctrinated youths to sell his party’s message. For Sedia, one cannot discuss his rise to dominance in wulli without commenting about the efforts of Surahata Jawneh. Surahatah assisted sedia in distributing PDOIS tapes, pamphlets, and other medium in spreading the message.
ANOTHER AREA RESULT:
SUWAIBOU TOURAY WULLI WEST PDOIS 154
MALANG SAWO WULLI WEST PPP 1,540
KARAMANG JAWUNEH NCP 1,222
FODAY KEBBEH PDP 1,118
Suwaibou a PDOIS through and through gain a meagre vote margin from the wulli west folks. Even though the likes of foday kebbeh were new comers, Suwaibou scored the lowest votes. This pattern is not unique to suwaibou alone. One cannot argue tribal reasons here. All the candidates for wulli are mandinkas.
ANOTHER AREA RESULT
LAMIN W JUWARA NIAMINA INDEPENDENT 3,585
MALANDING CEESAY PPP 3,163
SANA JALLOW GPP 493
Mbarodi or waa won with a slight margin as an independent in Niamina. This indicates that personality counts in politics. Waa for whatever reason did not contest for the PPP, a party he serve as commissioner in several divisions. His too was famous in Niamina once.
NOW THE INTERESTING POPULARITY CONTEST
MY FAVOURITE POLITICAL MAVERICK BUBA BALDEH .NKO NKONTANITA BAAKE (I SAID, I AM EXPTREMELY HAPPY) this is one of buba’s one line speech.
BUBA BALDEH JIMARA PPP 6,028
BAKARY SONKO NCP 355
This is the biggest margin i have come across so far. The fame of Buba was unbelievable. Jimara is predominantly Fula, but that was not the reason Buba beat his rival that much. Buba understood the language of politics. He knew how to use emotion and entertainment in winning votes. During those days Buba is always surrounded by the fula musicians who whip up the crowd to join buba’s campaign team. Buba is from Mansajang which is far from jimara. His Dad was a famous figure in basse’s elite group but buba choose to contest in jimara.
Can our current political players learn anything from Buba? Yes, in term of reaching out and connecting with the people.
My assumption is that the PDOIS leaders would would be glad to engage all the other oppositions in the country in a debate over ideas and philosophy. from the several speeches of and interviews of Halifa, it is apparent that he is rearing to take on udp and aprc especially on policy issues. the lack of opportunity to get that engagement creates the frustration in halifa's interviews. he knew his party got the better ideas and the foundation to withstand criticism. he also knew, he is naturaly gifted to unleash his oratory ability on any of the contending rival parties. halifa would love to have an American style leadership debate. this unfulfil desire may be killing halifa's political ambition. I would love to withness a debate between halifa and ousainou or Yahya. that will be a day to remember for generations in the history of Gambian politics.
Thursday, 2 October 2008
Voting patterns in the Gambia
The 1992 Election result and total MP party percentage score. THIS IS THE VOTES CAST FOR THE RESPECTIVE PARTY MP’S.
Overall votes percentage of vote
The PPP TOTAL VOTES 109,059 54.23%
The NCP 48,845 24.29%
The GPP 13,937 6.93%
The PDP 9,291 4.62%
The PDOIS 4,632 2.30%
The INDEPENDENTS 15,331 7.62
201,095 100%
the total votes for the over all respective party MP's was as usual favourable to the PPP. the strange thing is, even the new party founded by eccentric business man Solo Darboe, The PDP collected more per head mp votes than PDOIS. another significant port of call is the existence of independent candidates in Gambian political land scape. With over 3 parties in our country, why do we still have independent candidates? is this a failure on the part of all our establish political parties?
it will be interesting to analyse recent election trends.
THE TOTAL PERCENTAGE FOR EACH PARTY LEADER IS HAS FOLLOWS: 1992 election
DK JAWARA PPP 117,549 58.48%
SHERIFF DIBBA NCP 44,639 22.21%
ASSAN MUSA GPP 16,287 8.10%
LAMIN BOJANG PDP 11,999 5.97%
SEDIA JATTA PDOIS 10,543 5.24%
2O1,017 100%
Source: the political history of the Gambia 1816-1994, pages 330-344.
Initially my interest was about the voting pattern of my own constituency Sandu. But then it is apparent that there is a need to analyse the number of Gambians voting and their party of choice.
It seems to me quiet an overwhelming number of Gambians aren’t voting in numbers. If our population is said to be over a million, then two hundred thousand odd voters is too minimal for effective democracy.
Now coming to the election history of Sandu, where the honourable Musa S. Darboe dominated until his final retirement from contesting election after losing the 1982 general elections to Alhagie AK Touray.
The vote counts for the candidates are: 1982 election
Musa S Darboe scored PPP 2,480
Alhagie AK Touray Independent 3,193
Kissima AK Sillah NCP 250
This means AK Touray won the elections with a large margin. Musa Darboe was a heavy weight. Ak Touray did his campaign with the Basse's famous orator Buba Baldeh who contested in Jimara and won as an independent. Buba's fame and mass support was overwhelming, his car is sometimes lifted up by jubilant supporters.
I will try to shed some light on the records of the late honourbale Musa S. Darboe's election results for the 1970's. the bye-election he won after Batapa was became insane. musa won the bye-election.
more later.
Overall votes percentage of vote
The PPP TOTAL VOTES 109,059 54.23%
The NCP 48,845 24.29%
The GPP 13,937 6.93%
The PDP 9,291 4.62%
The PDOIS 4,632 2.30%
The INDEPENDENTS 15,331 7.62
201,095 100%
the total votes for the over all respective party MP's was as usual favourable to the PPP. the strange thing is, even the new party founded by eccentric business man Solo Darboe, The PDP collected more per head mp votes than PDOIS. another significant port of call is the existence of independent candidates in Gambian political land scape. With over 3 parties in our country, why do we still have independent candidates? is this a failure on the part of all our establish political parties?
it will be interesting to analyse recent election trends.
THE TOTAL PERCENTAGE FOR EACH PARTY LEADER IS HAS FOLLOWS: 1992 election
DK JAWARA PPP 117,549 58.48%
SHERIFF DIBBA NCP 44,639 22.21%
ASSAN MUSA GPP 16,287 8.10%
LAMIN BOJANG PDP 11,999 5.97%
SEDIA JATTA PDOIS 10,543 5.24%
2O1,017 100%
Source: the political history of the Gambia 1816-1994, pages 330-344.
Initially my interest was about the voting pattern of my own constituency Sandu. But then it is apparent that there is a need to analyse the number of Gambians voting and their party of choice.
It seems to me quiet an overwhelming number of Gambians aren’t voting in numbers. If our population is said to be over a million, then two hundred thousand odd voters is too minimal for effective democracy.
Now coming to the election history of Sandu, where the honourable Musa S. Darboe dominated until his final retirement from contesting election after losing the 1982 general elections to Alhagie AK Touray.
The vote counts for the candidates are: 1982 election
Musa S Darboe scored PPP 2,480
Alhagie AK Touray Independent 3,193
Kissima AK Sillah NCP 250
This means AK Touray won the elections with a large margin. Musa Darboe was a heavy weight. Ak Touray did his campaign with the Basse's famous orator Buba Baldeh who contested in Jimara and won as an independent. Buba's fame and mass support was overwhelming, his car is sometimes lifted up by jubilant supporters.
I will try to shed some light on the records of the late honourbale Musa S. Darboe's election results for the 1970's. the bye-election he won after Batapa was became insane. musa won the bye-election.
more later.
INTERESTING SITES
I find this site quiet interesting. http://www.gambiatouristsupport.com/
it is a UK base charity and a tourism support organisation. they help young Gambians in many ways. check it out.
also the Gamwriters site. http://gamwriters.com/africa/gambia/post/2008/10/2/marital-nightmares-due-to-meddling-family-members
my recent article is publish by Cherno Omar Barry. quiet interesting list of book out there. for folks interested in poetry, take a look. i have never read any poetry book yet, so i may need suggestions on one for beginners. since i did pure commerce in high school, some of those books weren't among the list of books i was interested in.
it is a UK base charity and a tourism support organisation. they help young Gambians in many ways. check it out.
also the Gamwriters site. http://gamwriters.com/africa/gambia/post/2008/10/2/marital-nightmares-due-to-meddling-family-members
my recent article is publish by Cherno Omar Barry. quiet interesting list of book out there. for folks interested in poetry, take a look. i have never read any poetry book yet, so i may need suggestions on one for beginners. since i did pure commerce in high school, some of those books weren't among the list of books i was interested in.
Marriage Nightmares and family members
Meddling Family Members Causing Marriage Nightmares
Marriage is a solemn engagement meant to bond relationships. The institution of marriage permits legal bearing of children to keep the human life chain in active motion. This important union has the longest history in human relations from primitive times. It is still the most predominant social practice in most modern societies and shared by religious and non religious people around the world. In pagan and religious communities, marriage is observed and well preserved. Most romantic relations gradually mature to marital union. It is the epitome of confirming one’s love for the other. Why do we get married?
This depends on individual point of view. One thing evident is that, most people who choose marriage want to have children born in a legitimate relationship. The expression of being illegitimate can produce profound impressions. The mere utterance of the word can cause anger and distasteful sensations. For many others, it is a fulfilment of both cultural and spiritual desires. People want to have children in a respectable relationship and blessed relationship. Marriage is a communal undertaking. This is why weddings are big occasions, family and friends invited to grace the occasion.
Marriage is also a mark in the sand. It is an indication that a certain man and woman are not available for any offers. They are in short not available for any show of love by other single men and women.
The children born in a married relationship are known and identified by people, through their parents, mum and dad. The kids are legally given their father’s family name; an honour for every man and woman. Some will say it is the fruit of love.
It is called the seal of love, the joy of a respectable relationship, sanctioned by family and friends.
By religious standards marriage is the only option for procreation. Islam prohibits having children outside marriage. Cohabiting with a woman outside marriage is considered an abomination, an act with a capital punishment. The stipulated penalty is by lashing and stoning. This is how the union is highly sanctioned by God the most high.
What we are about to share is how this serious and important social relationship suffers major problems in our Gambian society. Men and women get married, they live as couples and sometimes stay in a family home, or they move out to live independently.
The busy-bodies:
Many Gambians can narrate incidences of meddling mother in-laws on both sides. These mothers-in-law try their best to be the decision makers in their sons’ or daughters’ marital relationship. In some instances this can be highly unwelcoming and capable of producing undesirable consequences. Couples taking orders from parents can be considered a matter of serious meddling.
Marriage is supposed to be a relationship between two consenting adults. This defines the mental capabilities of the two individuals entering into a lifelong contract. Yes they can seek opinions from their parents, but this should be purely voluntary not intrusive. Meddling parents and sisters are a worry for most Gambian married couples.
Such meddling in the marital affairs of others does not stop at parents of affected couples. Brothers, sisters, cousins, and other extended family members often take their turn. They choose to make unfair comments and some times provide bad advice.
Economic self interest is the bottom line in many instances. When the bread winner gets married the prospects of a new young family becomes a threat to welfare for those family members enjoying ready support. There is this fear that flow of benefits will be directed elsewhere. Quite often these family members prefer to keep milking the marital party. Where they are unable to dominate they turn to antagonise.
The man’s sisters are most active when their brother stays on serving as source of support. Soon after that support runs out or slows down, a state of conflict arises. The blaming finger points at an imaginary obstacle. They become jealous and start interfering and causing unhealthy feelings against their brother’s wife. They usually gang up against their brother’s wife and start all sorts of trouble-induced claims. They often do whatever it takes to lie to their brother about his love, his wife.
What many of these family members fail to realise and accept is the fact that there is a new family that deserves to grow as a healthy separate entity.
Now if strains are creeping into marriages due to over-burden, intrusive parents and the long hands of family members, then something is wrong. The sisters of the husband are worst in many cases. A clear example is when Mister X marriages miss Y and their marriage is going fine. Then the sisters of Mr X feel that his wife is getting all that they should be getting. Many marriages are in deep trouble due to nothing but busy- body mothers, sisters and other family members. Why should married men be putting their mothers and sisters ahead of their immediate family, their own lifelong partner, flesh and blood; their children?
Some Gambian men don’t understand marital obligations and how important the woman under their care is. This is a trust, so significant. Without it divine laws have no other way of continuing the procreation of humanity. Men must understand that they have to stay close to their wife and make decisions based on their own judgement. It is important to consult with their love one in all household issues. They need to stay close and never allow outsiders dictate one’s marriage, even mothers and fathers, let alone sisters.
Allowing other family intrusion of marital space only creates distrust and ill-feelings in the relationship. There is nothing worse than a tense marriage. How can mums and sisters or even father’s cause unhappiness in people’s relationship whilst they the mums, sisters and fathers are happily living with their own families?
There is another side to this issue. The wife’s family can also be a burden; this is when her family fill the husband’s home, pushing the husband's own folks away. Some wife’s are so cruel, they even cause havoc between husband and his mum. They make their husband’s home only habitable for her extended family. These are all due to having a wrong understanding of marriage.
By experience of others, it is the wife’s family who intrude the marital space of their relative. They take too much for granted and expect the man to take on tasks almost impossible to accomplish. They expect the lady to serve as bread winner when she has her own young family to cater for. Some unfaith ladies advance to the stage of stealing from their husband and passing it unto family members.
It is unfair and wrong. Men and women in a marital relationship must avoid letting over-dependent outsiders dictate what happens in their household. That is a recipe for failure. It indicates an inability to make independent decision. This is a weakness.
Brothers continue to shoulder the burden of extended family; this on its own is a strain. Meddling family members only wish to maximise more benefit from their married brothers and sisters at the expense of immediate family (wife and kids). No good brother, sister or well wishing family member should allow this situation. Make your home conducive place for yourself, wife and kids. Extend help to other family members but on measured and ability basis.
May God guide our actions. Amen
Marriage is a solemn engagement meant to bond relationships. The institution of marriage permits legal bearing of children to keep the human life chain in active motion. This important union has the longest history in human relations from primitive times. It is still the most predominant social practice in most modern societies and shared by religious and non religious people around the world. In pagan and religious communities, marriage is observed and well preserved. Most romantic relations gradually mature to marital union. It is the epitome of confirming one’s love for the other. Why do we get married?
This depends on individual point of view. One thing evident is that, most people who choose marriage want to have children born in a legitimate relationship. The expression of being illegitimate can produce profound impressions. The mere utterance of the word can cause anger and distasteful sensations. For many others, it is a fulfilment of both cultural and spiritual desires. People want to have children in a respectable relationship and blessed relationship. Marriage is a communal undertaking. This is why weddings are big occasions, family and friends invited to grace the occasion.
Marriage is also a mark in the sand. It is an indication that a certain man and woman are not available for any offers. They are in short not available for any show of love by other single men and women.
The children born in a married relationship are known and identified by people, through their parents, mum and dad. The kids are legally given their father’s family name; an honour for every man and woman. Some will say it is the fruit of love.
It is called the seal of love, the joy of a respectable relationship, sanctioned by family and friends.
By religious standards marriage is the only option for procreation. Islam prohibits having children outside marriage. Cohabiting with a woman outside marriage is considered an abomination, an act with a capital punishment. The stipulated penalty is by lashing and stoning. This is how the union is highly sanctioned by God the most high.
What we are about to share is how this serious and important social relationship suffers major problems in our Gambian society. Men and women get married, they live as couples and sometimes stay in a family home, or they move out to live independently.
The busy-bodies:
Many Gambians can narrate incidences of meddling mother in-laws on both sides. These mothers-in-law try their best to be the decision makers in their sons’ or daughters’ marital relationship. In some instances this can be highly unwelcoming and capable of producing undesirable consequences. Couples taking orders from parents can be considered a matter of serious meddling.
Marriage is supposed to be a relationship between two consenting adults. This defines the mental capabilities of the two individuals entering into a lifelong contract. Yes they can seek opinions from their parents, but this should be purely voluntary not intrusive. Meddling parents and sisters are a worry for most Gambian married couples.
Such meddling in the marital affairs of others does not stop at parents of affected couples. Brothers, sisters, cousins, and other extended family members often take their turn. They choose to make unfair comments and some times provide bad advice.
Economic self interest is the bottom line in many instances. When the bread winner gets married the prospects of a new young family becomes a threat to welfare for those family members enjoying ready support. There is this fear that flow of benefits will be directed elsewhere. Quite often these family members prefer to keep milking the marital party. Where they are unable to dominate they turn to antagonise.
The man’s sisters are most active when their brother stays on serving as source of support. Soon after that support runs out or slows down, a state of conflict arises. The blaming finger points at an imaginary obstacle. They become jealous and start interfering and causing unhealthy feelings against their brother’s wife. They usually gang up against their brother’s wife and start all sorts of trouble-induced claims. They often do whatever it takes to lie to their brother about his love, his wife.
What many of these family members fail to realise and accept is the fact that there is a new family that deserves to grow as a healthy separate entity.
Now if strains are creeping into marriages due to over-burden, intrusive parents and the long hands of family members, then something is wrong. The sisters of the husband are worst in many cases. A clear example is when Mister X marriages miss Y and their marriage is going fine. Then the sisters of Mr X feel that his wife is getting all that they should be getting. Many marriages are in deep trouble due to nothing but busy- body mothers, sisters and other family members. Why should married men be putting their mothers and sisters ahead of their immediate family, their own lifelong partner, flesh and blood; their children?
Some Gambian men don’t understand marital obligations and how important the woman under their care is. This is a trust, so significant. Without it divine laws have no other way of continuing the procreation of humanity. Men must understand that they have to stay close to their wife and make decisions based on their own judgement. It is important to consult with their love one in all household issues. They need to stay close and never allow outsiders dictate one’s marriage, even mothers and fathers, let alone sisters.
Allowing other family intrusion of marital space only creates distrust and ill-feelings in the relationship. There is nothing worse than a tense marriage. How can mums and sisters or even father’s cause unhappiness in people’s relationship whilst they the mums, sisters and fathers are happily living with their own families?
There is another side to this issue. The wife’s family can also be a burden; this is when her family fill the husband’s home, pushing the husband's own folks away. Some wife’s are so cruel, they even cause havoc between husband and his mum. They make their husband’s home only habitable for her extended family. These are all due to having a wrong understanding of marriage.
By experience of others, it is the wife’s family who intrude the marital space of their relative. They take too much for granted and expect the man to take on tasks almost impossible to accomplish. They expect the lady to serve as bread winner when she has her own young family to cater for. Some unfaith ladies advance to the stage of stealing from their husband and passing it unto family members.
It is unfair and wrong. Men and women in a marital relationship must avoid letting over-dependent outsiders dictate what happens in their household. That is a recipe for failure. It indicates an inability to make independent decision. This is a weakness.
Brothers continue to shoulder the burden of extended family; this on its own is a strain. Meddling family members only wish to maximise more benefit from their married brothers and sisters at the expense of immediate family (wife and kids). No good brother, sister or well wishing family member should allow this situation. Make your home conducive place for yourself, wife and kids. Extend help to other family members but on measured and ability basis.
May God guide our actions. Amen
Wednesday, 1 October 2008
HALIFA SALLAH'S SPEECH
Today i will be attempting upload a lengthy speech by Halifa Sallah, Gambias activitive politician and pan-Africanist. He did that speech last year on the Black libration day celebration in U.K. Interesting stuff for fans and admirers of Mr Honourable Sallah. check it out later today. warming, some content of the clip may upset certain activist, same sex fellows. so be warn. I am finding it difficult uploading the video. The final option will be contacting a skilled IT person to sort it out. As stated earlier, some comments by a certain a key speaker on the event wouldn't go down well with same sex advocates, the lecture by Halifa is educational and enlightening.
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